It’s a Monday morning, 7:25 am. The traffic seems to be piling up on your way to town, CBD. The weekend memories are lingering on whilst you struggle to take the edge off the sleepiness that is adding to the cocktail of the Monday blues. “I thought the roads would be clear today“, are the words that echo in your mind, then reality dawns when you remember that the happy “no traffic” days were in December and my Dear, It is January. Welcome to 2017.
So, depending on your preferred means of transport, the matatu driver resets the radio volume and guess what? It’s Maina and King’ang’i …….. again! What juicy story do they have for us?? “40 bob town”, the conductor interferes with your listening path and after struggling to understand the complex algorithm of “Niongeze kumi nikupatie mbao” (Add me 10 shillings and i’ll give you 20 shillings), your ears pick up the hot topic on the “beloved” Classic FM morning show.
I do not need to complete this story since I am 100 million shillings sure that you can predict what the story on that show was all about. Either a cheating husband, a relationship gone sour, a sexual habit picked up by neighbours, a pastor taking advantage of his congregation, a teacher with a fetish for mathematically challenged students, yada yada yada, you know the drill by now.
Maybe I am the only one that finds this habit repelling. Just as a disclaimer, I have nothing against the mentioned persons or the station mentioned above but my main concerns are:
- why do we feed our nation with so much negativity??
- Why do we use an ideal platform that can reach millions of people only to spread rumours?
- Why are we feeding the minds of our youth with distorted perceptions of marriage, work, families and life?
- Why are we feeding couples with recipes of infidelity, mistrust and unfaithfulness?
- Why are we placing money before personal values, ethics and morals? “The business of making money, gossip sells”, this seems to be the motto of some of our media houses.
- Why do we let our own minds feed on these delusions ?
Mathew 12:34 states that “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks”. Have you ever listened to a young man telling you how it is impossible for a man not to cheat? How men are wired to naturally follow any skirt with a goal in mind? Most often than not, you will find some ladies snooping around their men’s phones with the justification that since they are “one”, even the vows included access to her man’s phone? I have nothing against a lady using her man’s phone, my only issue is when a lady plays the role of Inspector General since in her head, the man lacks brains not to flirt around with every girl. Look at your Whatsapp application, how many videos or photos do you have as forwards from those that allude to issues such as someone being caught pants down, rumour about someone’s sexual orientation, rumour about an affair between a friend of yours etc? Most of these habits are as a result of things we feed our minds on day in , day out.
Fortunately or unfortunately we live in a time where access to information is at our finger tips. The only difference between the fortune and the lack thereof, is definitely how you make use of it. You can choose to read on articles that empower you, view material that makes you aware of your surrounding, forward to others material that improves general knowledge about trends in the world. But guess what, isn’t that good vibe made to look so boring?? We need some spice right?? So slowly that pornography site doesn’t seem so bad it’s like a biology class, that Betin page isn’t so bad, you are doing economic analysis and projections, that Ghafla page isn’t so bad, you are learning social trends…………… My brothers and sisters, be careful what you feed your mind with, especially when in private or when you are bored.
It is not about being self-righteous or a Holy joe. It is about loving yourself. There are a million scenarios of vices or evil things to avoid with regards to feeding your mind with. However, in my opinion, there is no help in knowing all the “What Not’s” in the world. You are better off knowing the “What To’s”. For instance, there are many reasons why a relationship can end: cheating, financial constraints, boredom etc. However, if you happen to be in a relationship, would you spend your energy knowing the negatives or would you spend your energy knowing things such as :learning your temperaments, spending time together, trusting each other etc.
In summary, below are my suggestions of avenues that one can invest in to avoid wasting your life learning vices in society as most of us are in the habit of. Either knowingly or unknowingly. Remember, ignorance is no defense. (I am also in the process of cultivating these approaches in my life)
1. Keep friends that add value or challenge you positively
Those that surround you, influence you. You do not have to be friends with everyone but you can be friendly to all. If you can’t let a random person drive your car or use your phone, then why let someone corrupt your mind? The same mind that controls your actions, habits and life. Don’t you love yourself?…………Garbage in, Garbage Out
2. Filter that which you watch, listen, taste, touch or smell
Science dictates that a human being is influenced by his/her 5 senses. So what you eat as food determines what you excrete as waste. Listen to that negative vibe about men from your girls, then wait to excrete mistrust and relationship drama within your relationship. Watch that porn clip on your phone and wait to excrete objectification of women around you as a man……..Garbage In, Garbage Out
3. Mind your environment
Ever heard of someone hoping to pass his/her exams while he/she has never attended a class? Or better yet, a man hoping to stop drinking while he seats in the bar? We do not live in an ideal world. Circumstances around our environment influence our thoughts and behaviours. You might need to cut off some things in your life. The best part about all of this is that you know yourself better. …. Garbage in, Garbage Out
4. Be that which you expect of others
You expect your man to provide, love you, be faithful, protect you and be your shield, are you loyal to him? Do you encourage him? Do you mind about his feelings?
You expect that warm meal at the end of the day? Her unwavering loyalty?Her embraces? probably an extra topping of a happy ending in the evening…. Are you that faithful man even when she is not around??
Hypocrisy reins supreme in most of our lives. We expect more from others than what we give. If we were bank accounts most of us would have a staggering overdraft…….Garbage in, Garbage Out
5. Be intentional
Nothing happens by chance. You want to succeed, work hard and smart. You want to lose weight, sweat it out. You want to marry her, ask her, at least a yes means you win and a no means you save yourself from the stresses of false hope. Win-Win situation. You want a meaningful life, be intentional about living it. You cannot read about your life, you have to live it accordingly. It is so easy wallow in the “Classic FM” life but hard to deal with its consequences whilst it is so hard to live a purposeful life but easy to live with its consequences.It does not matter if you have failed at this, whether you never knew about this or have doubts. It is never late to change……..Garbage in, Garbage Out
” Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8
PS: for the ladies, I am still marinating on your topic… Coming soon