You gotta love your Boys\Homies\Bruhhhhsss, depending on how you call each other. Men, you know what I am talking about. The squad that revitalises you regardless of your age, mood or circumstance. Even our old Paps have their crews that they hang around to reminisce.
PS: You will possibly thank me by the end of this episode.
Last weekend happened to be one of those perfect “Everything Nice” concoctions ,for those who watched Powerpuff Girls, obviously as a guy you watched accidentally……….. I understand. You know those weekends where your pockets are way above recession, your mum/dad happens to trust you with the car thus you are mobile, then one of your boys happens to be flying out so you have a genuine reason to meet up and celebrate the upcoming departure. The icing on the cake is where there is good “nyama choma” and if you are a geo-focused individual on social media well that day your status can have a ‘in Karen” check-in status for your followers.
It’s around 4 pm and I happen to be with my boys. Trust me, it is always a great time with this men. We call ourselves the “Barracks” since every meet-up happens to be a battle within the camp. It has been many years of solid friendship dating back from the time when Steers offered Wacky Wednesdays in 2010 was our kind of SportPesa since you could bet on having a good time and a double burger at only Ksh 200. The multi-bet would occur when one or more of the boys had a date, a girl , just for emphasis, then we would use the term “lit” to describe our adolescent feelings. Suddenly, there is a loud outburst in the group and for 5 minutes we are all laughing when we remember an old encounter.
There is an NDA between us so I cannot tell you all stories but one just for you goes like this. Pep, one of the boys happened to have brought a date for one of the Wacky Wednesdays back in the day. Economically, Ksh 200 was meant to purchase 2 burgers , 1 for each of them and my boy would end up looking romantic as he remained only with the exact bus fare back home. To his dismay, Pep’s crush lovingly ate both the burgers and well our homie smiled as the gentleman he was. So as good friends we did what great friends do. You guessed right…. We laughed, and laughed, and laughed and 6 years later we are laughing as we have our “zilizopendwa” moments. Then Daktari, another homie, calmly says “guys you know we are no longer kids, 25 and above. Tumezeeka“.
I am not sure if this was an effect of the doctors’ strike or if he was being malicious but that statement had us all in silence. My thoughts suddenly changed as I realised that in essence I was no longer in that bracket where aimless parties were cool, where breaking hearts was a virtue, where putting on Supras earned a few glances from ladies. It reminded me of that feeling after graduating where your family tells you, “you are now a man”, but you have no idea what that implies. However, after confirming below the belt you assure yourself of your gender but are still confused about the concept of being a man.
I may not be the only man phasing thoughts of “How do I even become stable?”, “What about my Masters?”, “What about that first car”, “Is it time to settle down?”. As guys we have so many thoughts that run across our minds. Probably, there is a sister you have been eyeing but well you are not sure if she can stick by you in your current status. Sometimes it probably stresses you and suddenly you realise, ” Yenyewe God ni noma”. I am still finding my way with regards to the aspect about being a man. It is a continuous journey, however, from the advice I have gathered from those I look upto, I will leave you with the summary below:
Keys to being a man:
1. Character: As a man right from high school upwards, who you are and what you become will always be determined by your character. All the successes, failures and experiences are aimed at shaping up your character in life. So how would you describe yourself? Be A Man
2. Sacrifice: My brothers….. You will have to sacrifice many things. The worst or best part about being a man, is that your sacrifices are never celebrated or in public, mostly they are ranked as “expected”. God sees my brother so keep on. I know those hours you put in at work just to earn something for the family or future family. I know the times you drop your girl home late and have to take a matatu through town to Juja( famous town in Kenya). I know the times you have to skip some meals just to give your brother pocket-money…. Be A Man and keep sacrificing.
3. Faithfulness: A man is meant to do great and hard things. It is so easy to cheat, so easy to sleep around, so easy to objectify women, so easy to drink all your money, so easy to live without purpose. My Brothers, Be A Man and do the hard thing. Be faithful to your 1 wife or girlfriend, your purpose and your body.
4. Love and purpose: A man without passion and purpose is dead. You love your sports, your girl/wife, your car, your job etc. Love whole-heartedly. May it be noted that my examples are not in any level of priority.
5. God: Whether or not you are the richest under 30 person in your county or country, whether or not you have risen from rags to riches, whether or not you have 1000 employees under you, whether or not you happen to be Mr. Kenya or not in reality without God you will always lack. We were created to worship a greater being and unfortunately as men , most of us focus on women, wealth, sex, alcohol, sports and other pleasures. I am not saying they are bad, but when they come before God then my brother your manhood becomes challenged. A man only leads if he follows God. Be A Man and follow God.
It may definitely not be exhaustive, but my brothers, do not take your being as a man for granted. You are born to lead, born to conquer, born to explore and born to be great. Therefore, regardless of what you are going through right now, it is a step in making you a great man, at the right time. Be A Man.
My sisters, I have not forgotten you. Coming soon………
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